We’d been together for five years. We were like those high school sweethearts in American movies – the ones who meet in Year 11, get married and stay together forever. I honestly thought that was us.
And then one day, she dumped me. She turned around and she said ‘ I don’t want to do this any more’. I felt like she’d ripped out my heart. This wasn’t meant to happen. I was the one in control.
I demanded answers from her. I texted her, ‘You’ve got to give this another chance.’ I called her every day. ‘What did I do?’
‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘It’s not you, it’s me. I just need some time to figure out who I am.’
I couldn’t accept that. I kept thinking there must be another reason. I didn’t understand how someone I’d known for so long could cut me out and be so cold. How could she turn off so suddenly?
I started drinking. I bad-mouthed her. I had sex with girls I hardly knew. But it just made everything worse. I tortured myself by looking at what she was up to on Facebook, and it just kept me hooked in. And then I had a car accident – not a really bad one, I just got whiplash and wrecked my car and I kind of bottomed out. I realised that I had to get on with my life.
I had to stop pretending that we could be friends. You can’t suddenly go from being lovers for years to just mates. It just doesn’t work. I think you have to respect yourself and have some dignity as that helps you get yourself together. I did feel stronger when I deleted her phone number from my phone.
It’s been two years now and I’m going out with someone else. I’m taking it slowly, though. I haven’t seen my ex for a while, but I think she’s with someone else. That’s okay. We had our time together, and it was good. I’ve learned a lot from what happened.