When you are depressed, your brain chemistry is out of whack. Your mind can get stuck on painful negative thoughts that aren’t true, but seem totally convincing to you.
You might have thoughts that do not fully consider the long terms effects of suicide, or the lifelong pain that your family will experience.
You might think:
They’ll be better off without me
You may feel so terrible about yourself that you think your family and friends would be better off without you.
Nobody is better off after a suicide
A suicide leaves behind a trail of unanswered questions, despair and blame that can lead to family breakdown. Parents, brothers or sisters can feel so terrible about not being able to help you that their lives fall apart. Sometimes the guilt and pain is so unbearable that they take their own lives because you did, often on the birthday or other anniversary of the person who suicided.
They’ll forget about me
Imagine being the person who finds the body. Imagine walking into a room and finding your little brother or sister or your best friend or partner lying there lifeless.
How could they ever forget?
It’s not something you forget. The news of a suicide is not something anyone forgets. Every year, week or month they will ask themselves what they should have done to help you, how they could have stopped it. Wouldn’t you?
They won’t understand
Depression is not an obvious illness, so unless you tell your friends or family how you feel, they may not realise how badly you’re suffering. You might think they won’t get it, or that they won’t be able to handle it, but you have to tell them.
They will help if they know
If you were drowning or in an accident, your friends and family would rush to help you! Tell them you feel so bad that you are thinking of ending your life. You’ll see that they will do to everything they can to help.
Hearing about your suffering may surprise or shock them
Being told you have committed suicide is a million times worse.
There’s no family that feels better after a suicide
It doesn’t matter how many arguments or problems a family might have. There is no family that feels better off after someone dies from suicide.
Seek help – there are many ways you can reach out
If you or anyone you know is considering suicide as an option, get help right now. Nobody will think you’re stupid or mad. And you’ll be surprised how people want to help you when they know.
Tell someone how you are feeling
If you can’t talk to a friend or family member, call or chat online with a counselor.
Lifeline 13 11 14
Kids Helpline 1800 551 800
Youth Beyondblue 1300 224 636.
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Try sooth yourself
- Write down your thoughts or draw something to express how you feel.
- Go for a walk or do some other exercise you usually like.
- Have a warm bath; burn some aromatic oil; cuddle or stroke a pet – all these things are soothing for your senses.
Do whatever it takes to stay safe
- Don’t be alone – get a friend or relative to come over, or go to stay with them.
- Get rid of any items that you could use to hurt yourself.
- Go to sleep. If you can’t sleep, take a safe amount of sleeping or calming medication (if you have some). Chewing up the medication before you swallow it will make it absorb and work faster.
- n the morning, please go with your friend to get more help. A GP or the emergency department of any public hospital will help you.
Life changes all the time, hold on!