Coping with your family
Nobody’s family is perfect. We all make mistakes, and we all have moments where we feel angry and emotional and might even occasionally think ‘I hate my family’.
It’s normal to not always get along with your family
Getting along with your family can become harder as you get older. You may start wanting to be more independent, and may have parents still wanting to control you. It can be a difficult time for everyone as new boundaries are established.
It can be even harder when someone in your family has a problem
Getting on with your family is hard enough, but it can be made even harder if someone in your family suffers from their own issues. This means they could be suffering from depression, an anxiety disorder, or another type of problem. These kinds of issues can negatively affect your whole family.
They may develop a drinking or gambling problem as a way of coping, or they might lose their temper a lot and bully or abuse another family member.
It’s not your fault
If someone in your family is constantly shouting at you, hitting you or picking on you, please understand that this is not your fault. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.
Reach out for help – you aren’t alone
If you are having ongoing challenges with a family member that is causing you stress and anxiety, then seek some help, so you can find better ways to cope with them and feel safe.
Ways to cope with negative feelings about your family
If your relationship with your family is causing you to feel sad, alone, and anxious there are a number of things you can do to reach out.
1. Tell someone how you feel
Talking to someone who understands what you are going through is really important. Tell another relative or adult you can trust. If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to them, or it’s late at night, you can call or web chat with a counsellor on one of these helplines:
2. Stay safe
If someone in your family injures or seriously hurts you please call the police. You have the right to feel safe and secure.
3. Be kind to yourself
Get out of the house as much as you can. Visit friends, ride your bike, play sport – exercise is great for releasing pent-up emotions and making you feel calmer. Keep away from drugs and alcohol, as they will make you feel worse.
4. Keep an eye on your moods
Because you have been under so much stress, it’s a good idea to make sure you aren’t depressed. Keeping an eye on your moods doesn’t have to be expensive. There are a few ways you can get free advice and treatment online.
These sites all provide free online treatment for depression and anxiety. You can complete self-help guides that will give you advice on how to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression.
If you are feeling stressed, lie down on your back and take slow, deep breaths. Focus your attention on your toes, feeling the muscles relax. Then move your attention to your arches, heels, ankles, calves and so on, all the way up to the top of your head.
By bringing your awareness to your body, your mind can shift away from its negative thoughts.
It’s never OK to not feel safe
You have the right to feel safe and happy at home. If you don’t feel safe, you need to do something about it.
- Call a close friend or a relative you can trust and ask to spend the night there.
- Get rid of any items that you could use to hurt yourself.
- Go to sleep. In the morning, go seek help with someone you trust.
Hang in there
You might be thinking ‘I hate my family’ right in this moment. While you may feel this way right now, give it time. Relationships can change all the time. You may find that over time you start to get on with your family more as life changes. Hang in there!
Life changes all the time. Hold on!