I’m confused about my sexuality

If you’ve had the thought ‘I am confused about my sexuality’ it may be that you think your sexual feelings are ‘wrong’. But there is no right or wrong about sexual attraction.

What you’re feeling is normal

When we’re young and our hormones are raging, it’s normal to get turned on by both male and female bodies. Sexual experimentation is part of our development – it’s the way we find out what our preferences are.

There’s nothing wrong with being you

If your sexual orientation doesn’t fit in to what your friends or family might expect, it’s easy to think you’ve done something wrong. You may feel ashamed, and that you are the problem.

Your head might be whirling with thoughts like:

  • ‘What’s wrong with me?’
  • ‘I can’t tell my parents. They’ll be ashamed of me.’
  • ‘I don’t fit in. I’m weird.’
  • ‘I hate being me. I don’t want to be like this.’

It’s not OK to feel anxious or miserable about your sexuality

If you are also subjected to bullying or prejudice, it can put you under a lot of pressure. This can make you feel even more isolated and distressed. But while it’s normal to feel confused about your sexuality,

it is not normal to feel constantly anxious or miserable about it.

Talk to someone

If you have been under stress for a while, you might have started self-harming, drinking or taking drugs to get away from the emotional pain. Please talk to someone. You may feel depressed. The earlier you get help, the quicker you’ll feel better.

Getting help

You may think that no one can help you because they won’t understand what you are going through, but that isn’t true. There are counsellors and support groups who will listen to you in a non-judgmental way.

Remember that you are not alone and that you can talk about your sexuality in a safe and supported environment.

Just talking to someone will make you feel better, it really will.

It’s easy to reach out if you are confused about your sexuality

If being confused about your sexuality is making you feel depressed, it’s important you speak to someone about it. There are lots of ways you can reach out and arrange to speak to someone about how you feel in a safe environment.

QLife is Australia’s first national counseling and referral service for the LGBTI community.  It runs a web chat service, as well as a telephone help line (3.00pm -12am 7 days). QLife can refer you to local services for people who are sexually or gender diverse.

  • Your GP

Your local GP can organise a referral for you to see a psychologist or other health professional. Talking to a psychologist can help you learn to feel positive about your sexuality, and to love and accept yourself for who you are.

Out & Online has self-help modules for same-sex attracted young people who are experiencing anxiety or depression.

If you are confused about your sexuality, remember that it’s totally normal. It’s not OK to feel sad, or anxious about your sexual preferences. There is support out there that can help you learn to love and accept yourself. Reach out and talk to someone rather than hiding away.

Life changes all the time, hold on!